No, Amazon, I didn't mean 'Warrior Fire Emblem: Three Holes'

No, Amazon, I didn’t mean ‘Warrior Fire Emblem: Three Holes’

The fictional shooter looks upset, and behind him are the results of Amazon's search.

Illustration: Nintendo / Amazon / Kotaku

If you, like me, were intrigued by the recent breakup Warriors Emblem: Three hopes comments and went looking for a copy on Amazon, the online retailer probably answered with a funny question: “Did you mean Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Holes? ” Thanks for asking, Bezos-mart, but no, I literally didn’t mean any of that.

Three hopes is forthcoming Warriors– stylish sequel Fire emblem: Three houses, a 2019 game that has rekindled the love of almost everyone for the classic Nintendo series. Other franchises have also received mousse treatment in recent years, especially The legend of Zelda i Person 5. People obviously are so excited about Three hopeshowever, that there are massive errors in searches, or at least enough for Amazon’s algorithms to think that “Three Holes” could be a game real subtitle.

And it’s not just me. Social media is full of similar stories from people who searched Three hopes on Amazon, just to ask us if they meant “Three Holes” instead. In fact, a Twitter search because “Three Holes Fire Emblem” reveals several people who use the term both jokingly and by mistake outside the context of the Amazon. Perhaps the turnaround that is difficult for the romance that the series has made with modern installments means that people can’t help but imagine obscene scenarios while buying this spin-off.

I guess the only question left is whether “Three Holes” refers to one person or some kind of polyamory scenario with multiple lovers. I can’t believe I just typed that.

Warriors Emblem: Three hopes coming to Switch this Friday, June 24th. Maybe players will get this nonsense out of their systems when the whole game is finally available, but judging by the experience, I fully expect everyone to go too far with their love and attraction to these digital characters. As long as you all keep your wandering eyes away from Yuri, my real boyfriendwe won’t have a problem.


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